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Immunity From Prosecution

Seller: NSA
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Condition: vaccinated
Time Left: 13 days, 14 hours

Bids: [9] Bidder List

Current Bid: $255,000,000

crypto

Location: Fort Meade, MD

DESCRIPTION

Worried that your schemes are starting to unravel? Afraid that even your massive fortune won’t be enough to buy off prosecutors and judges?

We’ve got you covered.

With this exclusive offer you can join hundreds of investment bankers, politicians, pharmaceutical executives, arms dealers, and corporate CEOs who enjoy immunity from prosecution.

Possession of this personalized, certified NSA identification card assures that you will not be detained, investigated, charged with or prosecuted for a crime*.

The winning bidder will be fully vetted with a forensic deep search investigation. We don’t care about your criminal activity, just your politics.

If you pass the background check and are accepted into the NSA Immunity Program, your ID will be issued along with the associated code phrase to be used with authorities.

Don’t get tied up in endless expensive legal proceedings. Don’t spend even a second in detention. Bid now – don’t wait until it’s too late!

Terms of sale: Winning bid is non-refundable whether you are accepted or not.

* The NSA reserves the right to cancel this service and revoke the ID and its associated privileges without notification at any time for any reason.

Bidder List

Adam Neumann
Alex Gorsky
Adam Neumann
Charles Scharf
Donald J. Trump
Jack Remondi
Donald J. Trump
D. Muilenburg
Adam Neumann
Opening Bid

$255,000,000
$250,000,000
$160,000,000
$150,000,000
$121,000,000
$120,000,000
$111,000,000
$110,000,000
$100,000,000
$100,000,000