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First Edition Bible Signed By GOD

Seller: Lucifer
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Condition: lightly singed
Time Left: 6 days, 0 hours

Bids: [17] Bidder List

 

Current Bid Bid: $600,000,000
crypto

Location: Hades

Shipping: G.O.D. Guaranteed Overnight Delivery

DESCRIPTION

Up for auction here is a signed copy of the very first edition of the Bible. How do I know? Because I was there when goD signed it.

goD brought this copy as a wedding gift for the Pharaoh of Egypt. At the reception the Pharaoh said “Who is this Lord, and why should I listen to him?” This pissed off the old goD pretty bad, so he smote all of Egypt with his tail.

The funny part is that the Jews thought goD did it for them and have been acting like goD’s pet ever since.

I ended up with this copy when I roasted the Pharaoh on an eternal spit, which is why it is lightly singed on the spine. A few of the goatskin pages have been lightly creased and unfortunately the jacket has been lost. But good luck finding another signed copy in any condition.

With all the UFO nonsense going on I thought this would be a good time to stir things up by sending it back to Earth. That and the price of oil has been going up, and you wouldn’t believe how expensive it is to keep the Fires of Hell burning.

Bidder List

Jesus
The Holy See
Joel Osteen
T.D. Jakes
The Holy See
David Platt
Opus Dei
David Platt
The Holy See
Opus Dei
Jesus
T.D. Jakes
Mormon Church
The Holy See
T.D. Jakes
Opus Dei
The Holy See
Opening Bid

$600,000,000
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